Monday, January 21, 2008
There are a lot of metaphors integrated to butterflies. Dreaming of a butterfly indicates your need to settle down. Butterflies also means creativity, romance, joy and spirituality. You may be undergoing a transformation into a new way of thinking. Dreaming of a beautiful colorful butterfly indicates the positive impression you will make at a future social gathering. (nodebox.net)
For me, butterflies symbolize hope. New beginnings. Metamorphosis.
The year 2007 ended with a bittersweet note in my life. It's the time where a lot of life changing events happened in a flash. A vast of emotions came pouring in, I have no choice but to cope, or otherwise crumble--which I chose not to happen! Career and relationships were my main issues. I was not moving up at work no matter how hard I try, not to mention was going through a terrible break up. What I was stressing over the break up was that I feel like breaking up not only to 1 person but to his family and friends too, people whom I learned to love as my own family and friends. Plus the fact that we were an item for 3 years, It's hard to give that up so easy. I tried my best, and yet it still didn't work out. We weren't on the same page anymore. Not a single issue settled, when we talk we just end up in another face off. It was emotionally, physically and mentally draining. The relationship roller coaster took a toll in my career and also my relationships with my family and friends. I often find myself confined in the room during weekends, go straight home after work, countless hours in front of the telly... and a lot more. My only time socializing is when I grab coffee with my office girlfriends or on a drinking binge after work, THAT'S IT! Until after a trip to Baguio, I was awaken with an urge. The urge that I better decide for myself quick-- pick up the pieces together again.
All of a sudden, I was this new person. I tried to smile again. The day seemed to be brighter each day. I wake up, prepare to work, pick up a more decent outfit rather than my usual shirt, jeans and flip flops, put powder and lip gloss and put my hair up neatly;) Went out with friends and catch up. Went out on coffee dates with a few men who asked me out and whom I find interesting. Not that I was in a hurry to date, but I just want to be able to carry a conversation and see if I still got skills in that department, ha ha:) And yes, it was all fun and I enjoyed it. Slowly my crumpled self esteem was straightened up bit by bit.
A surprising twist happened when I started to hang out more often than usual with my 'office bestfriend' . It was magical how i always find solace in his arms and how he always says the right words... then the friendship blossomed. I fell in love with my best friend. It went over a few bumps with my ex not amendable to me and my best friend being close, but we surpassed that stage. Just when I thought things are not going smooth, come December, it's official, I received an email from my team lead that I just leveled up;)-- talk about things going at my direction. Having my career and a new inspiration before the year ends were the Best Christmas presents for 2007.
Life is full of uncertainties. It's full of surprises! Like a butterfly, it's about time I spread my wings this year. I've been in my self-made-cocoon for a long time. My life became colorful and though some colors may look odd, it still added a touch of beauty to the whole picture. 2008 is a promising year. New love, career boost and a better me. This is a start of something NEW! NEW- BETTER- IMPROVED- ME!:)