twisted sisters

A sister can be seen as someone who is both ourselves and very much not ourselves - a special kind of double. ~Toni Morrison

My sister was born when I was four years old. An answered prayer because I really wanted to have a sister. That time all I wished for was a playmate. Someone who I can share my Barbies and Play Dohs. My excitement of having a baby sister made me very hands on in taking care of her.

I've seen every stage of her life. Her first word was "cha-anen" and she always say that when she sees the Sprite Fido Dido commercial. She played as a ballerina in her first school presentation way back her preschool days. She was given the Most Jolly award during her preschool graduation. Her first crush was CJ Ramos of Ang TV when she was 7years old. She has a Winnie the Pooh security pillow that she can't live without until now. I can go on and on and narrate all the things I've witnessed and seen about her. All I can say is that I was there and I've seen them all.

When Nicole was in preschool, her teacher called our mom's attention because Nicole kept on telling stories about me. My mom talked to me about it and she said that Nicole looks up to me as an Ate so I have to be a role model to her. That's when the "sister" role started to sink in. I have to be responsible over my actions because I have a younger sister who idolizes me. It was flattering to know that my sister loves to be like me because I have friends who were not meshing well with their sisters. At least for me and Nicole, we are never rivals.

As much as Nicole looks up to me, there were times when I also disappointed her. But every time I did something wrong, she was the first to know. She's always there as a confidante, listener and a ready hug anytime I need one. She's also the person I talk to when I need a "brutally" honest answer. She will never pretend a compliment if there's nothing nice to say. She has this way of pulling off criticisms and addressing it to me in a sweet way. She sees my failures as lessons for the two of us. She never judged me for my mistakes but on how I pick myself up. Her presence in my life inspires me to be always at my best.

Nicole and I talk, laugh and sound alike. We both have smiling faces. We have the same tastes in clothes, movies, music etc. We share our stuffs to one another. Our bonding time is in the bathroom. Ha ha! We can talk about anything under the sun non-stop. We are well updated of each other's daily lives. Like me, she can easily make friends too. She is even friends with my friends. Yet even if we have a lot of things in common, we are also different in more ways than one. She is the singer, I'm the dancer. She fancies "boy-next-door" type when it comes to crushes, while I'm attracted to the "bad-boy-type" Ha ha! She's the athletic one, I'm the artistic one. She's morena, I'm mestiza looking. When angry, she's quiet and I'm the one who flares up. She's into black eyeliners, while I'm into white eyeliners. She's into loud color nail polishes, while I'm into the neat, clean trim only. But even with our differences, we never allow it to be annoying one other. There are times that we quarrel or argue, or should I say most of the time (Ha ha!) but that never created a wall between us.

For me having a sister is also a training on how to become a good friend because having a sister is like having a best friend you can't get rid off. You know whatever you do, they'll still be there. So you have to accept her individuality, embrace her flaws and love her unconditionally. I'm so blessed to have Nicole as a sister.

NICOLE AQUINO - my ONE and ONLY sister and that makes her the BEST!;) (I have no choice sis ha ha!)

BUTTERFLIES

There are a lot of metaphors integrated to butterflies. Dreaming of a butterfly indicates your need to settle down. Butterflies also means creativity, romance, joy and spirituality. You may be undergoing a transformation into a new way of thinking. Dreaming of a beautiful colorful butterfly indicates the positive impression you will make at a future social gathering. (nodebox.net)

For me, butterflies symbolize hope. New beginnings. Metamorphosis.

The year 2007 ended with a bittersweet note in my life. It's the time where a lot of life changing events happened in a flash. A vast of emotions came pouring in, I have no choice but to cope, or otherwise crumble--which I chose not to happen! Career and relationships were my main issues. I was not moving up at work no matter how hard I try, not to mention was going through a terrible break up. What I was stressing over the break up was that I feel like breaking up not only to 1 person but to his family and friends too, people whom I learned to love as my own family and friends. Plus the fact that we were an item for 3 years, It's hard to give that up so easy. I tried my best, and yet it still didn't work out. We weren't on the same page anymore. Not a single issue settled, when we talk we just end up in another face off. It was emotionally, physically and mentally draining. The relationship roller coaster took a toll in my career and also my relationships with my family and friends. I often find myself confined in the room during weekends, go straight home after work, countless hours in front of the telly... and a lot more. My only time socializing is when I grab coffee with my office girlfriends or on a drinking binge after work, THAT'S IT! Until after a trip to Baguio, I was awaken with an urge. The urge that I better decide for myself quick-- pick up the pieces together again.

All of a sudden, I was this new person. I tried to smile again. The day seemed to be brighter each day. I wake up, prepare to work, pick up a more decent outfit rather than my usual shirt, jeans and flip flops, put powder and lip gloss and put my hair up neatly;) Went out with friends and catch up. Went out on coffee dates with a few men who asked me out and whom I find interesting. Not that I was in a hurry to date, but I just want to be able to carry a conversation and see if I still got skills in that department, ha ha:) And yes, it was all fun and I enjoyed it. Slowly my crumpled self esteem was straightened up bit by bit.

A surprising twist happened when I started to hang out more often than usual with my 'office bestfriend' . It was magical how i always find solace in his arms and how he always says the right words... then the friendship blossomed. I fell in love with my best friend. It went over a few bumps with my ex not amendable to me and my best friend being close, but we surpassed that stage. Just when I thought things are not going smooth, come December, it's official, I received an email from my team lead that I just leveled up;)-- talk about things going at my direction. Having my career and a new inspiration before the year ends were the Best Christmas presents for 2007.

Life is full of uncertainties. It's full of surprises! Like a butterfly, it's about time I spread my wings this year. I've been in my self-made-cocoon for a long time. My life became colorful and though some colors may look odd, it still added a touch of beauty to the whole picture. 2008 is a promising year. New love, career boost and a better me. This is a start of something NEW! NEW- BETTER- IMPROVED- ME!:)

Life is no walk in the park!

I was chatting with a former schoolmate the other night. From our hi's and hello's chit chat we suddenly shifted to "substance" talk. Oh by the way, I'm really fond of conversations with people where I get to see different insights and see individuals in a different light. It teaches me a lot. Alright going back to the "substance" talk, we then talk about how life was so different in high school to what we are facing today.

High school, everybody seemed promising. We all built fantasies of how our future will be when we grow up. Those fantasies droves us to dream and have goals. Most of us stuck to it, some changed plans and others merely lost track. You hear different stories about people, some true some just hear say. Some stories make you sigh in envy for those who are doing great in their lives and other talks makes you feel lucky you're not as desperate. Looking back always makes you wonder, how easy those days were. All I think of was what pony tail to wear, what cologne to spritz, homeworks, friends, crushes, projects, school activities, phone calls, bad hair days, being grounded, weekend out with friends... all seemed easy back then. I bet all of us feel the same way now.

All of a sudden here I am, in the middle of work, quarrel with my boyfriend, missing in action with my peers and a dysfunctional home. I told my friend that I'm bored and tired, but now there are a lot of things to do and bills to pay. How I wish we can go back to the days when we are worry-free. Then he told me that LIFE IS NO WALK IN THE PARK! We have to face all that comes our way, no looking back. Just remember the lessons along the way and how good it was to feel young back then. He is right. Now no more whining and back to work;)