Sunday, June 29, 2008

The Quarter-Life Crisis

When JC went to our place to use the internet weeks ago, we talked about work, relationships and basically... what our daily lives are... totally consumed by problems, pressures and full of questions.. what lies ahead of us? He was telling me what happened when he met his high school buddies during their reunion and all the success stories of his friends that made him reflect on his own life. Then he blurted out.. Maybe I'm just going through a "Quarter-Life Crisis". And that just got stuck in my head. Yes, maybe there is such a thing. This may be the answer why people my age(around their 20s), my peers, are all talking non-stop about the future, finding what will make them happy, and brainstorming about the best options to take in life. May it be in a relationship, career, or personal growth. I told JC, I might be going through the same thing as a pointed on a pile of inspirational books on top of the computer.

So I had that idea in mind and when I went to work that night, I told Michelle about my conversation with JC and she also agreed. She told me that sometimes, she feel sad because she still hasn't accomplished her goals. She has set herself to have her own house when she reached 25. She just turned 27 this year, still living with her in-laws. And it just puzzled me.. for someone who seems to have a comfortable lifestyle, have a work that buys her anything she wants, happy marriage and an adorable daughter.. she is still not satisfied of her life.

Tried to talk to Mai, a friend in her 30s. When I told her about all my disappointments and things bothering me, she just shrugs it off. She said that I am to young and that I have all the time in the world. Then it dawned into me, that yeah.. maybe we are the only ones giving pressure to ourselves that's why we feel terrible about our current state. We feel we have to prove something at this point. We feel that a successful career, perfect relationship or our great stature will put us in a level of bliss. I also realized that having this goals in mind is not bad, it can actually be used in good effect. But if it leads to having a crisis with yourself, then maybe you have to shake it off a bit and try to enjoy;) Stop pressuring yourself!

I bumped into this article blogged by Charisse Vilchez in Multiply. I read it and reminded me of
this scenario I had with my friends JC, Michelle and Mai. Bottom line is, we all go through phases. For me, feeling a bit of anxiety about what is ahead of us is normal. We are ALIVE. We are not robots to be controlled, our emotions and thinking brings us to our destination. So feel every anxiety, fear and pain, because it all teaches us a lesson. And it's always to BE BETTER:)

The Quarter-Life Crisis

by unknown

It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are a lot of things about yourself that you didn't know and may or may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.

You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you do not realize is that they are realizing that too and are not really cold or catty or mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.

You look at your job. It is not even close to what you thought you would be doing or maybe you are looking for one and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and are scared.

You miss the comforts of college, of groups, of socializing with the same people on a constant basis. But then you realize that maybe they weren't so great after all.

You are beginning to understand yourself and what you want and do not want. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging a bit more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and add things to your list of what is acceptable and what is not. You are insecure and then secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you or you lay in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough to get to know better. You love someone but maybe love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you are not a bad person.

One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap and getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision.

You worry about loans and money and the future and making a life for yourself and while wining the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!

What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.

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